Grieving and Creativity

By Janette Thomas
Any parent faced with the prospect of losing a child is in one of the darkest, saddest places imaginable. Faith, friends and medical assistance all look to bring comfort and of course they do, but nothing takes away the reality staring you in the face. Your child needs you to be strong and to make the last months of life as pleasant and soothing as possible.

My husband and I asked our teenage son what he would like to do as the cancer inched its way through his body. Always positive and gifted with a happy disposition his answer amazed us. He wanted no talk of death and dying but rather a focus on life and creativity. He was confident about his final destination and wanted the remainder of his journey to be one of joy for everyone.

On his wish list was to paint all the front window sills, see a second liquid amber planted in the front garden and to finish the brick wall of a garden area he had designed. To many these would appear strange choices for a gifted athlete, academic and musician. He wanted the house flooded with light and music. He requested that we issue an open invitation to his friends to join him for meals and when he was up to it, a game of table tennis.

Such was his determination that he continued all of these activities until 48 hours before leaving this world. He finished the brickwork and gave instructions for the type of plants to be placed in the garden. The window sills were also finished. He encouraged his brother and sister to express their feelings through their chosen fields. For one it was music (14) and the other fashion and design(16).

His legacy apart from his vibrant faith was to be found in the physical beauty he left behind. His garden flourished and in the weeks immediately following his death, as a family, we were galvanised into action. New flower beds were dug up and planted out in the colours of his favourite football team. Fragrant plants were added and now 24 years later, I look at the glorious colours that are a constant reminder of his hope, to leave the world brighter and lovelier for his having been part of it.

Wisteria winds its way over an arbour, gardenias spread their exotic fragrance and the riot of red geraniums and purple bougainvillea dazzle the senses. Looking back, we all worked through grief in a meaningful and creative manner.

Our daughter's fashion and design skills saw her gain 3rd in the state of NSW in her final school exams. To this day she designs and creates and is passing on her passions to her children, while her chosen career path is in the medical field. Our son likewise, pursues music and shares his love for it with his family and friends, but his career too, is in the medical field. Both of them are keen gardeners and their artist's palette is reflected in their choices of foliage and colour, harmony and contrasts, textures and fragrances.http://ezinearticles.com/?Grieving-and-Creativity&id=5502497